Holidays are here

So I know it has been a while since I have posted anything. Not that I have not been busy, but I find it hard to post when I am going through it. Then I remember, that's why I started this blog. To talk about my experiences now that I have relocated and started a new life.

Today is November 23, 2010. Thanksgiving is just 2 days away. And while I have never been big on Thanksgiving, it is hard knowing I am spending this holiday so far away from my family and friends. But I have been so blessed to have the best husband a girl can ask for. He is going out of his way to make sure this holiday season is special for me.

First off, he is not a huge fan of the Christmas Season. Growing up it was not a fun time in his house so he doesn't get excited now. But he know that I love Christmas like a child, so he is getting excited for me. He is getting me a Christmas tree and we are going decor shopping this weekend. He even agreed to getting a sappy "First Christmas" ornament for our tree.

My family and I have decided to spend Christmas Skyping so I can be a part of the family celebration, but I am ready to start new traditions and love the family I have here with Juan.

I can't say that I am not sad about being so far away, but I am trying to embrace my new life.

On other news, I have decided to leave my part-time retail job. While I love the discount, the atmosphere was bringing me down and keeping me from seeking my real purpose here in NY. I mean I am still working part-time in some freelance positions and volunteering in different areas, but I want more and I have to focus on that to get it.

So much to think about, so much to experience, and so much to experience.

Caught Out in The Rain

So yesterday, an unexpected rain storm hit NY. There was thunder and lightening and a downpour that was so unexpected. I got off work at 8:00pm and went immediately to the subway. When I got to my stop, the downpour had begun and there was no turning back. I stood in the underground alcove for about 20 mins and the rain let up just a bit so I decided to go for it. I mean what else was I going to? But as I started to walk home, the down pour got stronger and hit me so hard. The trauma of this experience was multiplied by the fact that my cell phone has been out of order for over a week now and I could not even call my husband to see if he could pick me up.

All I could do was cry and walk. At one point I even stopped and yelled out, "I just want to go HOME." (The last time I cried that cry was when I lived in the dorms and realized that I lived with 3 other girls and I could not handle the personality differences anymore. In fact, I literally ran home to my mother's house that night.) I thought about how even when I did not have a car in Cali, the amount of walking that I did back home was so minimal. Seriously, even when I took the express bus home, I walked to my bus stop (20 yards from my office), got on the bus and got dropped off at the train station (another 30 feet from my car). When I got home I cried some more (because I was soaked through to my underwear and because my new cell phone that was supposed to come was not delivered), ate dinner, and then cried some more.

After sleeping off all the feelings I had, I woke up feeling guilty. I don't want to go back to Cali to live. I just want to feel more secure in my life here in NY. I also felt guilty because if home is where the heart is, NY is my home with Juan. But my heart is torn. I miss my family and friends. Then on the way home from work today, I remembered another rain storm from when I first moved to OC.

After our first day of school in the OC, my sisters and I had to walk home to our new apartment, that we had only walked to once from the bus stop with our mom before that day. That first day of school, it rained cats and dogs. And when we got to our bus stop in front of the school by our home, we got turned around. We went out the wrong exit and ended up a block and a half away from home. People drove by and sprayed water on us. At one point, Veronica sat down on the curb and refused to walk any more. After being lost for about 30 minutes, we finally found our way home.

That was a horrible day for my sisters and I. But now we talk about and laugh and remember that we had each other that day and we never got lost again after that. I survived that storm and I survived the storm last night. I am not ready to laugh yet at last night's experience, but I know I will be okay.

I love rainbows because of what they mean. God used rainbows to symbolize that He would never flood the earth again. But more than that, I look at them as a symbol that God does not send us storms that we cannot handle--in nature or in life. I am in need of a rainbow right now, but I know what God's promise is so I am living my life looking for rainbows.

The Journey Continues

It has been a long 2 months since I last posted. I have lots of ecuses why that is so, but the truth is this:

I wanted to write this blog to document this great adventure of moving to NY and all the wonderful new things I was experiencing. But the truth is that not all things that happen on an adventure are wonderful. Some are painful. Some are depressing. Some are hard to describe. But it is all a part of the adventure, right?

So I am back to writing. To capturing my life in words on my blog so that I remember and you get to live it with me.

The last two months have been spent looking for work. I mean I have done some other things like visit Juan's family in PA (his younger brother is having his second child any day now and one of his cousins is pregnant too), rehearsing for He'll Work it Out (the show had to be postponed from opening in September because the production staff needed to get reorganized, so I left the show), helping Juan push forward with the business (we were doing very well until fall started to set in this week, but we will be okay in that area), and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life (I know what I love to do, but is there a career for it and if so how do I get into that career).

Not being able to find a job has really rocked me to the core. First off, I have a degree and 10+ years of management experience. But I don't know anyone in NY and finding a job is all about who you know not what you know. This is a lesson I have learned over and over again here. I feel like without a job I have no purpose, and without a purpose what am I good for? Juan keeps telling me that I am going to find something, but I just don't know anymore.

My good friend Jessica told me that she believes that God has not blessed me with a job because I am meant to use this time to go to school and get my cosmetology license. I love doing hair and makeup and getting my license would mean making money doing something I love. But I alos love fashion and I want to find my place in that world. So I have been praying on it and looking for guidance.

In the meantime, I went to an open house for the Plus Academy NY. The Plus Academy is a training program for new and aspiring plus models . At the open house, some former students spoke and some of the instructors spoke. Some have gone on to be successful models and others have found their place in other areas of plus fashion. So I decided, I need to go to the Plus Academy so I can figure out where I am meant to be.

The open house was held at one of my favorite retail stores and while I was there, I applied for a job and wass hired. So it was meant to be, right? I don't know. Yes, I know I was looking for work and was finally hired somewhere. And even part-time work is better than nothing. And I needed the money to pay for the Plus Academy and maybe start saving for cosmetology school. But I was not meant to do this type of work. The one thing that keeps me going is the discount (yes, I think I have spent my first paycheck already and I have not even gotten it) and the free stuff (yes, they have some good perks). So now I am struggling with whether or not it was meant to be, or me pushing the envelope of fate (its hiring season for retail). I guess only time will tell.

So now I am back to where I started, trying to find a job and figure out where I am supposed to be in this big city of dreams. I guess that I will just have to keep praying, keep applying, and keep feeling things out for what the best fit is. In the meantime, I am trying to find my worth outside of what I do. I am trying to figure out exactly who I am (even though I thought this happened when I was in college, then again after my first engagement broke off, and then again in the years when Juan was living in NY and I was in CA). Maybe seeing yourself clearly is a life long search and you just have to be happy with what you know.

Back in NY

It has been a while since I have written. So much happen in so little time I got a little overwhelmed. But it is over now. Well really it's just beginning. On July 3, 2010, I got married to my best friend, the love of my life, Juan.

I wish I could say that the wedding went off without a hitch, but that would be a lie. And why write if I am going to lie about what happens in my life. My friends and family were all there and most of the stress ended the day of the wedding the way it should. Unfortunately, there was some drama. I can't really go into details because I don't know the cause of the drama that occurred. All I know is that my mother-in-law at one point during the reception started to cry and threatened to leave. Then my husband and his brother almost got into a fist fight. My mom and dad went outside to smooth things over with my mother-in-law and my husband's best friend worked on Juan and his brother. All of this caused me to have a bit of a breakdown. But it all worked out the night of the wedding and we had a nice rest of the night.

But somehow, even though things seemed worked out at the end of the wedding, we left California with even more tension between us and my husband's family. Again, I have no idea what happened or what I may have done wrong, but they are not speaking to me and the words that have been said are not nice ones.

I talked to a friend today about it and she reminded me to pray first and let God lead me where He will in this situation. So I did and the answer I am getting right now is that I have just gotten married, moved across the country, and have so much other stuff going on, all I can think about right now is that. I will focus on my new marriage and my new life and in time everything else will be worked out in God's time.

So other than the negative, the wedding was wonderful. We had a great time and have some beautiful photos to prove it. Now it's time to return to the grind. I have to find a job, learn my lines and songs for the show I am in, and get my home in order. Everything else is in God's hands.

Going Home

I have been in California for a week. And it was crazy busy. Between celebrating my sisters' graduation achievements and preparing for this wedding, I am just so tired. But I got a lot done while I was here.

We finalized the bridal shower plans, we hashed out the wedding and reception plans, we found the location for wedding photos, we ordered favors for the receptions, and I found my dress. But more importantly, I found the answer to a question that I have been asking myself for a little while now.

New York, not California is my home now. I miss my family and friends when I am gone, but I was meant to be in NYC. It is hard to say if it has more to do with Juan or the fact that I feel inspired and like everything is possible for me there.

I won't lie and say everything in NY is easy. In fact it's exactly the opposite. Juan and I struggle and I am still trying to find my place there. But struggling together and seeing what is out there if I take the right chances and make the right choices is exciting.

I did not realize that I felt this way about NY until I was visiting my old job on Thursday night. I saw some of the staff and one asked me how I was doing. I answered "I'm good." And he said back, "You look happy."

Since I got back people have commented that I look good because I have lost weight or that I just look good in general, but when he said that I looked happy I knew that was what was different.

I am happy. Being with the one person in the world that you really love and want to live with for the rest of your life makes you happy. No it brings you joy. And that feels good. I hope I continue to wear that happiness on my face for the rest of my life.

Going Back to Cali

So I am super excited because in just 3 days I am going to visit California. I never thought I would be so happy to go back so soon. But I miss my family and friends. Also, my sister both just finished their programs in school and are graduating. I want to celebrate with them.

Today I spent the day online talking with my mom and her friend about wedding plans. More specifically about centerpieces. It is crazy how something as simple as centerpieces for my simple backyard summer barbecue wedding can get so out of hand. I was trying to stay out of it all so that I don't get all stressed out if things don't go my way, but today I got involved. My best friend reminded me that I am super creative and I could find ways to decorate for cheap that would also be beautiful. She was right. I got online found options to make centerpieces for about $4 a table. And with my girlfriends and sisters, I have tons of help to knock out putting the pieces together in no time.

The whole experience got me pumped. I now know that I have to be a little more involved and I have to use my creative side to make things work the way I want and to lessen the stress on my Mommy.

All of a sudden, I am looking forward to my wedding the way I should have been the whole time.

I leave for California on Friday morning and my mom and I are going shopping for my dress and centerpieces and cake. I also have a bunch of hanging out to do with my sisters and girlfriends and my dad. I know this trip will be exhausting, but I can't wait. And I look forward to missing Juan while I am gone. This is all new to me, but so wonderful.

Home Sick?

I had my first real case of home sickness for California this week. The first week of May is a big birthday week for my friends. May 4 is my God son's birthday. May 5 is my good friend Erika's birthday. And May 6 is my friend Summer's birthday. Erika and Summer grew up together so this weekend is usually the big dual party weekend.

What normally happens is that I go over to Erika's house early and we either go shopping or pull everything from our closets and I help her pick her outfit. Then we get ready together and we go out. I usually spend the night at her house after the festivities and hold her hair if she gets sick from all the partying. But I am in NY and going to Cali in about 2 weeks, so I could not be there this year. And this year was Erika's 30th birthday.

So Erika sent me pics of her in different outfits and I helped her pick one, but it wasn't the same. All of a sudden, I was very sad to know that I could not be there and this won't be the last time I will miss out on stuff like this. It's just the way of life when you move away from your family and friends.

Believe me, I would not take back my move. I love being here. I love being with Juan. And I will love being his wife. But I left a part of my heart in California. And they say that home is where the heart is. So I guess I will forever be split. Homesick for NY when I am in Cali and home sick for Cali while I make a life in NY.

1 month

So it has been a month and I have survived. Better than survived, I am doing really well here. This week was the first time since I got here that I really missed being in California. But I have to be honest, I don't if I miss California or knowing that I have so much support in California.

The hardest part of being here is not having a job, so I have to be very careful with the money I spend and what I do. Take today for instance, Juan and I were in the city and there was this charming hat stand. The vendor placed the most perfect hat on my head. In his words, "A hat with a dramatic flare for a girl who likes a touch of the drama." It was beautiful on, but it was $90. When I was employed, that still would have been a lot for me justify, but I might have gotten it (or the $60 everyday version of the hat that was also beautiful) and then figured things out later. So I guess this is teaching me discipline. I don't know. I do know it is stressing me out a bit.

The thing is that with all the stress of not knowing what the future holds, I think I have fallen more in love with Juan. He has been so supportive and so encouraging and so loving. I can't even really put it all into words, but he has been a God-send. I am blessed to have him in my life.

I volunteered for FFFWeek again yesterday. They were having another model casting and I was asked to volunteer again. I had more fun this time and connected with the two other volunteers for the day--LaToya and Tiffany. After the casting we went shopping in the cit for a bit and talked. These seem to be some fun girls. I hope we continue to connect and hang.

So what are my thoughts one month into this adventure--Can't wait for the next month of making NY my home.

New York People are Different

I just wanted to make a quick post about an experience I had a few weeks ago. But I have to preface this story with some background information.

Most people know that in my last job I was a Customer Service Manager. But I was a CS Manager in the entertainment industry. While there were times that the complaints that were valid and needed to be addressed, most of the things I handled were people not being happy with their entertainment choices (as if I had any control over whether or not they will enjoy a show) even when they did not do their homework to find out what they were going to see.

Well the most entertaining complaints that came in were usually complaints that were pretty biased in nature (not wanting to deal with homosexual themes or race, or sex period), but the people complaining were very careful to never say anything that was blatantly bigoted. Instead they blamed their feelings on the way the themes were presented. And the complaints always started like this, "I'm not a racist, but . . ." "I'm not homophobic, but . . ." "I'm not a prude, but . . ." And I always found this entertaining.

Well I was in the nail salon waiting to get a manicure and pedicure. I was a walk-in so I expected to have to wait. After waiting for about half an hour, I was called to a station. About 10 minutes into my pedicure an older (Jewish) woman, who obviously has a lot of money based on all the real jewels she was wearing and the authentic Birkin bag on her arm, comes into the salon. She spoke to the owner and then got loud. She was 30 minutes late for her appointment and did not understand why they gave her appointment to me. When they told her she would have to wait another 15 minutes to be seen, she came over and told me that lazy black people are always stealing from her and that's why she hates black people and then followed it with "or spanish, or Haitian or whatever you are". I just laughed.

What I took from this experience, comparing it to the ones I had in Cali of the same nature is that people in California are not nicer than people in New York, they just pretend to be. Maybe its all that Hollywood influenced political correctness.

FFFWeek Cover Model

I did something crazy. I entered myself in a contest to become the face of Full Figure Fashion Week. It's crazy because I waited so long to enter that there is only a week for my friends and family to vote for me and spread the word.

It's also slightly crazy because I have never put myself out there like this before. I mean yes, my friends and family support me in everything I do. But to ask other people to do it and even go so far as having my ex make a supportive post on Facebook. Letting people who don't know me judge me on my looks is scary and exciting and so many emotions all wrapped up into one.

I talked to Juan about it today. He is so supportive he got on the phone with his family and forwarded them all the message. He reminded me of something I had forgotten. When Juan used to tell me I was beautiful I would ask him why. He would point things out to me and I would go and look in the mirror to see what he saw. When we broke up 5 years ago, I had to start to see the attractive traits in myself and believe in them. At that time, I started to take pride in my talents (my work, my designs, my jewelry, my singing, my acting) because no matter what I looked like, I had my talents.

I always decided that my beauty was dependent on my size, but I never placed that same standard on other people. I admired big, beautiful women who did not let their size stop them from being seen as beautiful, sexy, and as fashion icons. In the last few years I have decided to get to know myself better and see myself through other people's eyes and find my own worth and beauty. And I am finally coming into my own to where I can feel like I can put myself out there to be judged and not only be okay with it, but I now know that what other people see doesn't make or break me. And at any size, I can be beautiful.

When my big sister, Amber, reads this I know what she is going to say. "Better late than never." That's what she tells me every time I start talking about stuff like this.

I'm Am Not Afraid

That is the name of one of my favorite Jill Scott songs. In the song she sings of not being afraid to be the woman her man needs. I once saw her sing the song live at a concert. The concert was on February 15, 2005. Juan took me for Valentine's day. But this was not just any Valentine's day, this was the Valentine's day after Juan and I called off or engagement and broke up. I am not sure why we decided to torture ourselves by going to see Jill Scott after we broke up especially since we got engaged after one of her concerts just 7 months before. But we did. And when Jill sang the song on that night she changed the lyrics and sang about not being afraid to face her fears and not afraid to lose her man when she knew something was wrong. Juan and I both cried.

Anyway, I am not having man troubles or anything, but all day that song has been in my head. Because right now I am afraid. New York is this wonderful, big, exciting, and scary place. But my fears come from being so responsible. I am the oldest of four girls who grew up with a single mom. I watched my mom struggle to put food on our table and to give us everything we ever wanted or needed. Because of that, I have worked so hard ever since I could work. I have always had a job. I always paid my bills and hate to have to ask for help from family or friends. So to not be working and getting little to no response to the applications and resumes I have been submitting is scary.

I guess this is what they call a crisis of Faith. So today I will turn that song around again, change the lyrics, and beef myself up for some positive thinking. I will not be afraid anymore. I can't let fear stand in the way of my blessings or in the way of loving this new experience.

FFFWeek

I am so excited. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a passion for all things fashion and entertainment. And more than anything, I love anything that promotes plus size girls looking good. I have said before that no matter what size I am, it is my goal in life to teach plus size girls how to dress in a manner that is flattering to their size and make them feel good about themselves. So I was super excited when I found out that New York has a Full Figured Fashion Week in June, and I could buy tickets. I even decided that I would go with or without Juan (and that's a big thing for me to say I would travel into the city alone).

As I searched the website to learn about the events of the week, I found a volunteer page. So I applied. Why not, right? I mean it would give me the opportunity to be right in the middle of everything I love. After I submitted the application (which required a photo) I got a response thanking me and it said they would be in touch. I figured that would be the end of it. I mean they probably have people they work with and if I got contacted, it would be sometime closer to the event in June.

Well last night, I was sitting here eating dinner (on the floor in the living room because we still don;t have any furniture :) ) and I got an email asking for a few volunteers to work a model casting this weekend. I jumped on it. I mean to be there in the thick of it--even if that mean just passing out forms to model chicks for 3 hours--is what I want more than anything. I was one of the first to reply and will be working this weekend. I am really looking forward to helping out and maybe there will be more pre-event opportunities for me to volunteer and get to know the world of Full Figured Fashion.

Week 2 Part 2

So this week I learned more about myself than I did about New York. I learned how easily I will put what I want to the side to let others be happy. But that is not a bad thing. In fact, I realize it's just who I am and I am happy about who I am.

As I previously discussed, Mommy wanted to change our plans for getting married to having Juan and I come out to California to have a wedding. Well she talked to Juan and he agreed. And then my mom ran with it. Before the week ended I had a wedding planning committee (my mom, my aunt, and my "other" mom), a bridal shower planner (one of my besties), and a wedding date that is only 4 months away. I have picked out bridal party dresses , groomsmen attire, a veil, flowers, and started designing a dress with my girlfriend, Jessica, for me. Only a week ago, I was going to the court house to get married. WOW.

And as much as I have had a vision of what that day should be like in my mind for years, all I really want is to marry Juan and let my mom have her fun planning the wedding.

Juan has become a typical man during this experience. He either doesn't care or he completely disagrees with a decision I have made without offering an alternative. I have come to just ignore him or kiss him and ask again in a sweeter tone to make him change his mind. It has worked on some things but not others.

The hardest part is registering for gifts. This should be so much easier. It should be like a shopping spree. You know, whoo hoo let's pick stiff for other people to spend money on. But instead it's hours of looking at descriptions of products trying to figure out which one is better and what really separates the $100 blender from the $45 blender if the descriptions are identical. And Juan is so particular about kitchen appliances I just want to throw my hands up and tell people, "Can't you just send us money?" But having the money would not help because we would still have to narrow down the options to what we really want.

I have been job searching, a lot, and I don't know how people do this. I finally understand why I got so many applications across my desk at my last job from people who came from other fields who were willing to do anything to start working again. It is a full time job and I spend about that much time online and in person filling out applications and sending resumes. I just hope it all pans out for the best. Prayer, diligence, and faith will get me through this time.

God willing, everything will come through as planned.

Random Thoughts

There are so many things that we take for granted every day. I don’t mean the things that we take for granted like food, a warm shower, and a roof over your head. I am not homeless in the least, and I do not take it for granted that if not for the grace of God, I could be homeless and dirty and hungry. But I have taken some of our normal luxuries for granted.

A microwave oven: Juan and I went shopping last week in PA for the home essentials. We spent so many hours in Target, Wal-Mart, and K-Mart that I wanted to kill myself and Juan. By Thursday night, we had everything except a microwave oven and pots and pans. But we figured 1) we did have a frying pan and a pot that Juan’s grandmother gave us, 2) we could get the microwave in the city, and 3) the car was full to capacity anyway. So we headed home.

When we got home we had leftovers and they were cold. No biggie, right? Wrong, the frying pan we currently own has a bump in the center of the pan and the sides go down. So it cooks only in the center of the pan but when you put butter or oil in the pan it goes off to the side where food doesn’t cook. But we were diligent and we warmed up our Arroz con Gandules and Pernil.

On Saturday we bought extra pot that fit our little vegetable steamer/strainer. Now in order to warm up food we put everything in the steamer and steam the food until it is warm. Don’t get me wrong, this is probably a much healthier way to eat and warm up food, but it takes more than 10 minutes to do it. Honestly, I can whip up a meal in that time. But you can’t let food go bad in the fridge or Juan starts to complain about wasted money.

However, I am proud to say, that I ordered a microwave online and it came today. I am not even hungry right now but I kind of want to warm something up just to show my appreciation to that wonderful machine.

Mirrors: There is one mirror in my apartment. Yes I said one. It is in the bathroom under a light fixture that would be perfect for applying makeup with my “daylight” light bulbs—if it worked. But I don’t care about that. I have actually gotten very good at applying my makeup in the bathroom then taking my purse mirror to the window in our bedroom to check out the evenness of my application. What has begun to drive me crazy is that the outlets in the bathroom don’t work very well. They power up whatever you plug in, but not to the correct power level because of a wiring issue that causes the hall light outside the bathroom to come on when you plug something in.

So in order to do the things that I must do at times like flat iron or blow dry my hair, I have to do it in my bedroom. Currently, the only mirror I have available to me there is the one I carry in my purse. But I am a woman who will not be held back by a little thing like not having a mirror. I have taken to using the built in web cam on my computer as a mirror to do my hair. It works, except that the image is inverted and sometimes that confuses me.

Unlike the microwave though, I have not found just the right mirror online, and Juan doesn’t see the urgency in my need for a mirror, so I have not gotten one yet. Don’t be alarmed though. On Friday, when Juan does not have class and we have to move the car for street sweeping anyway, I will be making a trip to Ikea.

Now there are other things like not having internet or cable yet that I won’t even go into right now, but that is not to say that I am not happy. This is an experience unlike anything I could ever have imagined and I would not trade it for anything in the world. One day I will have serious “hardship” stories to tell my children and grandchildren. And they won’t believe me and I will point them to my blog and my pictures and video from the early days of Juan and I.

Week 2 Part 1

So week two. . . I guess reality is starting to set in that I have really done this. I have moved across the country. Well so far this week I have learned that people who do not work and just sit around have more patience than I could ever even pray for. In fact, I would not even pray for that. Now, I am not talking about stay at home mothers or people who work from home. If I had my sewing machine, my dress form, and a small table to work on, I would be set right now. I plan to get creative this week and make some jewelry pieces in between visiting the city and applying for jobs. I miss my creative time right now.

As expected, getting engaged has my mother all fired up. This is what I know: Before Juan asked me, he spoke to my mother and made plans. The plans as I know then were for us to get married (like ASAP) here in New York in the presence of our parents. Then we could celebrate with everyone else at a later date. Once I started telling people about the engagement (or more accurately my mother started telling people before I even knew about it) my family decided they wanted to be here for the event. Then when I told my girlfriends, they were all thinking the same thing—if we can afford it we want to be there. So now, this small exchanging of vows has turned into a full blown wedding or something.

Last night, my mother called to ask if I would be opposed to them flying Juan and I out to California and us getting married in the back yard. Apparently, if the family pitches in, it is cheaper to throw us a wedding than to fly to NY and get a hotel and blah, blah, blah. While I would love that idea, Juan and my mom were the ones who worked out this plan in the first place. I told her to call Juan and leave me out of it.

Honestly, I would love to be able to get married in California with all my family and friends with us but I really just want to be Mrs. Juan R. It is what I have wanted since I was 15 years old. It’s silly but in my heart I have been committed to him for so long I just want to make it official.

We will see.

Week 1

My first week on the east coast

I have learned so much this week. For example: in New York you cannot make a right turn on red unless it is posted, New Yorkers are not meaner than Californians they are just way more honest than Californians, Costco in New York is a bad idea, and the buildings that you rent apartments in control the heat and it only comes on when the temperature gets low enough (but the temperature is always low enough for me to want it on).

So, Monday night my plane got in late and Juan and I just came back to our empty apartment and went to sleep. I was pleasantly surprised that our apartment is a really nice size. The bathroom is a little tight fit, but the rooms are open and spacious (of course that could be because we have no furnitureJ). There are hardwood floors and high ceilings. I love it here. Partly because it’s my apartment with Juan and partly because of the potential I see in this place. I just have to remind Juan that I am really good at interior decorating and space planning. He wants a say in everything and that make life a little difficult at times.

On Tuesday we headed to Pennsylvania to take Juan’s brother, Rio, and cousin, Josh, to a 76ers game. The game was fun but more than that I had fun getting to know the boys and becoming a real part of the family. The rest of our 3 day trip was spent buying the essentials for our apartment. And $600 later we came home to Brooklyn Thursday night. On the way home, Juan and I had the most wonderfully unexpected conversation ever—but more on that later.

Friday and Saturday were spent cleaning and prepping the apartment. Nothing is really done yet and so much more is needed, but it is getting there. Sunday we spent the day at Juan’s Aunt Michelle’s home in Stanton Island. This house was unbelievable. It extended from one street to the other, 4 stories, a children’s playground in the backyard, a two car garage in the far back with a parking area for 3 cars next to the front door, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a children’s playroom, and a workout room. Juan’s aunt apparently doesn’t cook, so Easter dinner was catered. We had Italian food which was wonderful, but I have to admit I was craving some Pernil and Arroz con Gandules. Juan’s cousins are awesome. They are polite and cute and spoiled to death, but I loved them.

So, back to Thursday night. On the way home, Juan and I started talking about life and stuff and he started talking about marriage. He started telling me that the reason he wanted me to join him out here was to start our lives together and a part of that would be making me his wife. He said that as the time got closer to me moving and the more he called me his fiancé to the real estate agent and the building owner the more he realized he wanted that to be real. Then he asked if I wanted to marry him. I said of course I do. He then said that he was thinking we should get married on our anniversary, April 20. I was taken aback by this suggestion and asked him if he was crazy or if this was a cruel April Fool’s joke. He laughed and said no, but he had put some serious thought into it and this was what he wanted. He then said I should call my mom and talk to her about it. I told him I could not talk to my parents before he talked to my parents if he was serious because they are such traditionalist and they would want him to call them and ask them first. He just laughed again and told me to call my mom because he talked to her on Monday while I was on the plane. I knew he was serious then and I just started to cry.

Juan then turned to me and asked me to be his wife. I was still a little shaken by this sudden turn of events and replied, “If you really mean it, ask me again in the morning and I will say yes.” On Friday afternoon, Juan came into the bathroom while I was combing my hair and asked me again. I said yes.

We don’t have a ring yet, but we just got an apartment and no furniture, so I’m not upset at all. We will see what happens though. And no, we are not going to get married on April 20. We are going to wait a little bit because even if we have the smallest exchange of vows ever, I want a dress and my parents to be present. I promise to keep everyone up to date on the plans and details.