Week 2 Part 2

So this week I learned more about myself than I did about New York. I learned how easily I will put what I want to the side to let others be happy. But that is not a bad thing. In fact, I realize it's just who I am and I am happy about who I am.

As I previously discussed, Mommy wanted to change our plans for getting married to having Juan and I come out to California to have a wedding. Well she talked to Juan and he agreed. And then my mom ran with it. Before the week ended I had a wedding planning committee (my mom, my aunt, and my "other" mom), a bridal shower planner (one of my besties), and a wedding date that is only 4 months away. I have picked out bridal party dresses , groomsmen attire, a veil, flowers, and started designing a dress with my girlfriend, Jessica, for me. Only a week ago, I was going to the court house to get married. WOW.

And as much as I have had a vision of what that day should be like in my mind for years, all I really want is to marry Juan and let my mom have her fun planning the wedding.

Juan has become a typical man during this experience. He either doesn't care or he completely disagrees with a decision I have made without offering an alternative. I have come to just ignore him or kiss him and ask again in a sweeter tone to make him change his mind. It has worked on some things but not others.

The hardest part is registering for gifts. This should be so much easier. It should be like a shopping spree. You know, whoo hoo let's pick stiff for other people to spend money on. But instead it's hours of looking at descriptions of products trying to figure out which one is better and what really separates the $100 blender from the $45 blender if the descriptions are identical. And Juan is so particular about kitchen appliances I just want to throw my hands up and tell people, "Can't you just send us money?" But having the money would not help because we would still have to narrow down the options to what we really want.

I have been job searching, a lot, and I don't know how people do this. I finally understand why I got so many applications across my desk at my last job from people who came from other fields who were willing to do anything to start working again. It is a full time job and I spend about that much time online and in person filling out applications and sending resumes. I just hope it all pans out for the best. Prayer, diligence, and faith will get me through this time.

God willing, everything will come through as planned.